World Mental Health Day (10th October) – was established in 1992 to promote understanding of mental and emotional health. But despite growing awareness of these issues, we often hear that young people in the UK are more anxious and depressed than ever before.
Earlier this summer, a report from the charity Young Minds revealed that the number of under-eighteens referred for NHS urgent mental health support increased by almost fifty per cent from 2022 to 2023. Meanwhile, last month, King’s College London revealed that sixteen per cent of their students reported mental health challenges – almost tripling since 2017.
Youngsters with special needs are also subject to problems with mental health – perhaps even more so than the rest of the population. Mary Dempsey is a counsellor based in south London who is also the mum of a grown-up son with Dyspraxia and ASC (autism). She points out that high levels of anxiety usually go hand-in-hand with neurodiversity.
Anxiety is a Big Issue for Autistic People
“If someone’s autistic, they spend their whole life feeling different and being told to try and fit in,” she says. “Even if they don’t realise they’re different themselves, by the time they’re a teenager, other people will have made them aware of it. They may notice that they’re not invited to things, for example, or that they often seem to say the ‘wrong’ thing in social situations. They might even be called names like ‘weird’ or ‘freak’. Lots of disabilities are visible but autism isn’t until someone starts behaving strangely which means people can be less tolerant.”
In addition, Mary continues, the sensory issues that often accompany ASC (autism) can easily cause a person to feel anxious and overstimulated. She cites the example of the autistic, lead character in the novel, ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime,’ who is so overwhelmed by the sounds and lights on a train that he curls up in the luggage rack.
Bringing Their Worries Down to Earth
“In many ways, helping an autistic person to manage their anxiety is much the same as helping anyone with these issues,” she explains. “My son often worries, for example, that something will go wrong at work, and then this person will be angry, he’ll be blamed for something and then lose his job. I constantly have to point out that he’s catastrophising and that things probably aren’t as bad as he believes. It’s about helping that person to stay ‘in the moment’.”
For younger children who may find it more difficult to articulate their worries, Mary suggests coaxing them into revealing what’s bothering them with gentle questions. “Generally, it’ll be one of a handful of things causing stress such as falling out with a friend or a teacher being angry with them,” she notes. “You can prompt them with something like, ‘if someone’s not being nice to you, that’s not OK.’”
Any Kind of SEND Can Make a Child Lose Confidence
However, any kind of SEND (Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities), from a physical impairment such as cerebral palsy or deafness to a neurological challenge like dyslexia, is likely to make a child feel ‘other’ than their classmates, she says, potentially lowering their confidence and self-esteem. Families can combat this, she adds, by highlighting the young person’s differences in a positive way.
“You might tell a child in a wheelchair that they have a fantastic sense of humour or someone with dyslexia that they’re good at thinking laterally, for example,” she elaborates. “There will always be something good you can pick out for any child. It’s also really important that families work together to do this. I remember hearing about a child with a learning disability who was adored by his whole family and was very happy and secure as a result. The last thing you want to say to anyone with SEND is, ‘why can’t you be normal?’”
A Positive Attitude Benefits the Whole Family
It can often be difficult, Mary concedes, for parents to come to terms with their son or daughter’s challenges but it’s essential nevertheless to cultivate a positive approach and show the young person that you accept them as they are and love them unconditionally.
It’s also useful, she urges, for families to remember that their other children can sometimes feel overshadowed by their SEND brother or sister’s needs which might trigger their own mental health issues. She recommends researching ‘The Glass Child’ theory for ways to support these vulnerable siblings.
